not feeling the best mentally

not feeling the best mentally

Postby dreamcast459 » Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:27 am

just wanted to let my fellow friends on here know im not feeling the best mentally and emotionally. long story short i fell head over heels in love with a girl. who turns out isnt stable enough to be in a relationship, at least not till she can provide a stable living environment for her kids. it all kinda hit me home hard outta nowhere, guess i thought she was ready for a relationship so i may not be on this site for a while may take time off to sort out some issues im dealing wi. but i guess she has to fix her living situation first. i love my friends here on tiz just not feeling the best right now. need to deal with these emotions before they get outta control

thanks for reading just needed to vent as i felt i had no one else to talk to aside from my therapist but i dont see her till later on this week

feel free to leave comments of support or what ever you feel you wanna say
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby itsonlyleggy » Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:50 am

This may sound a little different, but bear with me.

My girlfriend wanted to move in with me once, and I knew it meant moving out of my flat and getting a house with her. I'd just received a giant, unexpected bill and wanted to sort that out before I made the jump.

I explained, told her I needed a year to sort this out (I had taken out a loan to repay this debt monthly) and she wasn't too happy. But she waited, bless her. I went through some tough times sorting all that out, it was a valuable life lesson for me. That lady is now my wife, this is the second house we've bought!

I just did not want to start a future with someone if I had things that needed sorting out first.

I think the lady in your story might be doing the same thing. Give her some time, keep talking to her. Show her you're supportive and it might lead to a happy life together. Sounds like she might need you :)
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby FlarePhoenix » Sun Apr 22, 2018 3:01 am

Little confused by your story, but from what I gather...damsel in distress? Never hurts to help someone.
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby Gunby » Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:34 am

Hey we're all here if you need support and someone to talk to. :D Its important to have emotional support and to talk how you feel. Its very tough when your morale isnt high during a situation you and your girlfriend are going through. Try busying your mind with really cheerful positive things like cheerful upbeat music maybe some light-hearted shows that make you laugh. Were all here for you bro. Take your time to collect your mind perhaps in a tranquil peaceful atmosphere like a place with a lot of green plants. Take care friend
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby skullz613 » Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:59 am

I've been in similar circumstances but one was more of the "I only think of you as a friend" situation. It can hit you hard but you will get over it. Distract your mind and get engrossed in a new project. Get out of the house for a while to change your environment.
I'd often go on a long bush walk or coastal walk.

Sitting around thinking of what could of been will only make you feel worse.

I did that a few years ago when I came close to trying to get back with my ex-wife only to find she had found another guy. Totally blew my mind away and all I wanted to do was smoke weed and take pills until I passed out. A week later I finally came out of it all as I once again saw why I had left the ex in the first place. I keep telling myself I was glad I left her and the new guy was welcome to her crazy ways.
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby varettaja » Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:21 am

That's life, take care.
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby pirate_tar » Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:28 am

I waited till my body started working, and I did not know when that would happen after many surgeries, she though, found someone else, and I was alone, not knowing that she would have waited for me if I would have told her to,uugh.
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby varettaja » Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:33 am

pirate_tar wrote:I waited till my body started working, and I did not know when that would happen after many surgeries, she though, found someone else, and I was alone, not knowing that she would have waited for me if I would have told her to,uugh.

Great to see you in here, Mighty Pirate :)
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby Preston2011 » Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:52 am

Shes right my friend....Her children have to come first! If its meant to be though itll happen given time....if its not make sure you have taken care of yourself firstly and try not to be defined by a relationship....
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby vgames » Sun Apr 22, 2018 10:34 am

There are some things in life you cannot force, love is one of them. It would have only come to bite you in the ass later if she wasn't true to herself and didn't tell you she needs time. These things have a way of balancing out like that. If it is meant, it is meant. Her putting her kids first is the right thing to do, if you can't see this now, you will later. It is a good trait for a person to have, be glad she has it!

Also, the fact that she didn't straight tell you 'no', shows she cares about your feelings and she may be open to revisiting the idea later. Patience is a hard thing to master, but good things do come to those who wait. Just be there for her, this can be a test to see how you react too. Sometimes it's hard to trust in someone enough to start a relationship again, since who knows what she went thru with previous partner. It sounds lame, but be her friend and don't pressure. Not to give false hope, but I married the girl that I had to be friends with for months before she was ready to be in a relationship again. We just had our 16th wedding anniversary on Friday.

So don't get too down, we never know how life will work itself out.

@itsonlyleggy Great story too! Shows you just gotta hang in there sometimes.
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby FFTHEWINNER » Sun Apr 22, 2018 10:58 am

hope you stay strong and find another,better,love. i am praying for you :)
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby Zerohour2k12 » Sun Apr 22, 2018 11:29 am

hang in there and stay strong man! we're here for ya! :)
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby Hayabusa » Sun Apr 22, 2018 1:02 pm

varettaja wrote:That's life, take care.

Best advise ever.lol
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby ExplosiveDiahorrea » Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:03 pm

I hope that you're feeling better mate. Sometimes being single is a lot better for your mental health. Women can be completely loopy and after many years of experience, I've found that I'm happier just focusing on my personal projects and gaming instead.
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Re: not feeling the best mentally

Postby NoMention » Sun Apr 22, 2018 10:12 pm

Don’t know your situation but if she already has kids it means that her past relationship(s) have not gone well. I’m all in favor of giving people chances, just make sure that you don’t get involved with someone, end up liking the kids a lot, then the relationship falls apart and you are without her and the kids. My best friend did this and it put him in an even worse place because he was like a father to the child and the child saw him like a father. When it all fell apart she hurt not only my friend but her son. The son said “I want to stay with {...}” because she was such a mess and bipolar.

Just something to keep in mind. I hope it all works out positively for you. Relationships appear to me like they are in worse states than ever due to this whole “about me” mentality, social media, selfishness, and materialism. These have always been there but it just seems like every year that goes by it reaches new levels...
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